Heard on the dive boat last week:
Daddy Shark is teaching the young sharks how to hunt:
1st we circle the person in the water.
Then we bump them.
Then we eat them.
But daddy, wouldn't it be better to just skip the 1st two steps and just eat them..., they're easy to catch.
No, those people taste terrible if you don't purge them first.
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students:
"The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory is to the female students. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Second violation will be a $60 fine. Third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
One engineering student in the back of the room raised a hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"
Understanding Engineers #8
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."
TASS - Texas Association of Social Sailors - PO Box 27050 - Houston, TX 77227-7050
Texas Association of Social Sailors (aka TASS) is a 501(c)6 non-profit organization.